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What do you want?

The day-to- day practicalities of life remain important throughout any major life-changing event, and it’s wise to concentrate on having fulfilling work, a social life which suits you and meaningful personal development after your divorce.

Do you remember my client from my last blog? She created a written plan for what she wanted, starting with thoughts on her ideal new job (out of London, long term contract), and ideal new home (with a huge garden for the dog she decided to buy). She also considered her personal development. With so much time invested in work and family over the years, spare time had been hard to find. With the gift of more time and freedom, she could address this.


Just like this…

Take time to dream

Dream about things that you would like to do now; things that make you excited. Rather than the oft-mentioned bucket list, think about your age and, whatever it is, pick that number of new things that you’re going to try within a year.

Here are just some of the things my clients have put in their lists:

I’m going to join a life drawing class
I’m going to finally learn the guitar; I’ve always wanted to play
I’m going to learn Spanish and book a holiday where I can use it
I’m going to get a degree!
I’m going to volunteer in a charity close to my heart

My client wrote a long list, containing things that were time-consuming, expensive and hard and others that were easy to achieve, quick and cheap.

Could you do the same?

“I know now, after fifty years, that the finding/losing, forgetting/remembering, leaving/returning, never stops. The whole of life is about another chance, and while we are alive, till the very end, there is always another chance.”

Jeanette Winterson, Why be happy when you could be normal?

What happens next?

Taking time to plan, and also time to dream, my client ended up with the type of job and home she wanted. She also realised that relaxing, dreaming and enjoying her new life had unforeseen consequences which were very positive: she stopped smoking after thirty years.

I’ve seen time and time again that it is very possible to not just survive but thrive after divorce. You can experience change and cope with it. You can learn to be; to grow and to celebrate who you are and what you want.

As Oprah Winfrey once said,

“If you are still breathing, you have a second chance”.

‘Creating a positive future after divorce part 1 – first appeared on WWW. Stowefamilylaw.co.uk on 4th December 2018